“That’s not a good way to start your day.” Ryan replies, laughing.
“Oh it doesn’t end there,” Jim says, “I get through breakfast mostly undamaged then on the way out I slip on the hardwood floor and make enough noise to wake the kids. Then Debra yells from our bedroom, I love you, don’t get fired today.”
“Oh no, a jinx like than on Monday, good luck,” Ryan replies.
* * *
“Only ten o’clock!” Jim says looking at his watch.
Another coworker shuffled by the cubicle and whispers the warning, “Mr. Chestnut is coming.”
“Oh great,” Jim says under his breath, moving a few papers around, trying to look busy.
“Jim, the Vice President is on me about the Peterson presentation. I need you to put it together for me; you have two hours, my job is on the line!” Mr. Chestnut said, his voice stern, with a finger pointing right at Jim.
Jim sits there for a few seconds. “Finally,” he says, turning off his computer. “This guy really needs to take a class on how to motivate people, I don’t care about his job, in fact it would be a great day if he lost his job,” Jim said quietly, snickering, hoping his plan will get Mr. Chestnut fired.
* * *
“Jim, you have to get in here right now,” Ryan said, he called him as soon as he could. “Mr. Chestnut is pissed, I even heard him cuss.”
“It will take me ten minutes to get back there. Can you hold him off that long?” Jim asked.
“Ya, but he is saying the Vice President wants some butts! He wants to know what happened with the Peterson presentation.”
“Ok, do you still have that bottle of ipecac form our New Years prank?”
“Ya why, it’s a bad time for a joke.”
“Put it behind my computer and keep Chestnut busy till I can get to it. I will take it from there.” Jim said, almost running to get back.
A few minutes later Jim slipped into his cubical, searching behind his computer.
* * *
“Jim, what’s wrong with you?” Mr. Chestnut said; they were standing outside Vice President Morgan’s office.
“Sir, I tried to tell you earlier, I am sick and I need to go home,” Jim replied, his face red, sweat pouring down his forehead. Just then the door opened and Jim got called in.
“What happened with the Peterson Presentation,” Mr. Morgan said looking at Jim.
“Sir… Sir,” That’s all Jim could muster before he ran to the trashcan. The ipecac kicked in just in time.
“Sir,” Jim said when he finished throwing up in the VP’s trashcan. “Mr. Chestnut assigned me the project three hours ago. I tried to inform him that I was sick and going home but he didn’t stay around to hear my explanation. I wanted to get out of the office before I threw up. I guess would have made it, if he had not called me back.”
“Get out of here, get some rest, I will sort this out,” Mr. Morgan said in a sharp tone.
* * *
“So let me get this straight. Today you fell and hit your head, fell again, then your wife jinxed you with ‘don’t get fired today’. You got the worst project in the office dumped in your lap at the last minute, threw up in the VP’s office and now you’re up for a promotion.” Ryan whispered; trying to make sure no one else was listening in on their conversation.
“Yep,” Jim said, getting comfortable in his chair, opening the news paper hoping for some funny stories. “Oh come on! Now the government is listening to my phone calls, they are so manipulative!”
A loose response to The Daily Prompt: Ripped into the Headline