Alive reworked: Weekly Writing Challenge

This is a respones to The Papa Hemingway Writing Challenge:

I chose to rework an old post called Alive.

New

I was driving to work when a car screeched to a stop in front of me. I smashed the gas, jumping ahead of the car beside me, avoiding a crash. Adrenaline surged, the gas pedal is on the floor as I enter a left turn, flying through the stoplight and screaming past a car. The lane is coming to an end; I swerve between two cars, passing on the left. I’m between lanes going almost 80mph watching the yellow line poor into my hood. Another car approaches; I am half in his lane, on course for collision. Pedal still on the floor, I swerve into the right lane just in front of the unsuspecting driver. I must have been going 90mph and the car in front of me about 35mph. I crush the brake, they lock up and the sweet sound of tires squealing rings in my ears. I let off the breaks and continue with traffic. Almost immediately, I pull into a parking lot. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, taking over, I felt a high I had not felt in years. I sat there, smelling burnt rubber, shaking with excitement…. ALIVE!

**********

Old

I was driving to work just like any other day. A car abruptly stops a few car lengths in front of me. Acting out of instinct I smash the gas, feeling the 345hp power plant of my dodge magnum lift the front end up as I jump in front of the car beside me, I get there just before I hit the back of the stopped car. Adrenaline surges, now the gas pedal is on the floor as I enter a left turn, flying through the stoplight I scream past two cars while making the turn. I am in the right turn lane with no intention of turning, the lane is coming to an end, I swerve between two cars, but I can’t stay in the lane long, the speed limit is 35 and I am doing about 80. I pass a few cars on the left; I am between lanes watching the yellow line poor into the front of my hood. Another car approaches from the opposite direction, I am half in his lane, if I stay on this course there will be a head on collision. There is an opening in front of the car just ahead of me but it will be close. I stick with it, pedal still on the floor, I swerve into the right lane just in front of an unsuspecting driver, barley missing a head on collision. I must have been going 90mph at this point and there was another car going 35mph in front of me. I crush the brake pedal, the breaks lock up and the sweet sound of tires squealing rings in my ears. I let off the breaks before I come to a complete stop so I can continue with traffic. Almost immediately, I pull over into a parking lot. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, taking over, I felt a high I had not felt in years. I set there, smelling burnt rubber, shaking with excitement…. ALIVE!

 

 

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