Ned stood staring at his photo on the wall. He thought his new status would change things, he thought everything would be different now that he was a celebrity. So far, nothing has changed.
Edward still pulls his underwear to the middle of his back, often ripping the elastic, which in an absurd way ripped elastic turns out to be a blessing. Ned went commando once and the direct denim/zipper contact was much less forgiving on his manhood.
After the award was announced, Ned asked Melissa out, she appeared to take offense to the gesture, and enough offense she slapped him.
“I guess Melissa is not the kind of girl that sleeps with celebrities,” he thought, rubbing his face in memory of the event.
The crushing blow came just after the Melissa incident, his face still stung. “You’re not a celebrity,” Vanessa screamed at Ned after another failed attempt at using his statues to make progress with the ladies. “Could that be true?” he thought.
Ed thought long and hard about this accusation, he thought about the hard work he had put in to gain this coveted status. Could he have miss judged, was this position less than prestigious? Is employee of the month the only place on earth where you can be a winner and a loser at the same time?
This story was inspired by a joke on esmartass.com, make sure you stop by for a laugh. I hope you all enjoy!