Authority

Hold on I got a help desk guy on the phone, real human, that said the help desk can fix my problem.

“BUT!!!…” he says, “it has to be a level 2 help desk agent that does it.”

I said, “hold on, I’m a level 3 half-elf sorcerer, I’ll just knock this shit out.”

“Ya, how’s that goin?” he says.

“Fuck!” I say to myself “he’s got me”.

“Ya,” he says, “don’t mistake your rank and magical powers for the supreme authority of the help desk and her agents!”

“Oh ya…,” I started to say, then stopped and said, “yes sir”.

After a long pause, and without warning he announces, “number 2 3 5 6 7 0 IS THE TICKET NUMBER THE LEVEL 2 WILL REQUIRE!!! I’ll transfer you now, but I can only hold for 30 seconds at which time you will be left to answer to the level 2 agent alone…,” and he was gone. 

Another long stint with purgatory’s music and a man answers who, if nothing else but to prove the supreme power of the help desk, sounds like fucking Napoleon Dynamite! He, the level 2 that is, says he will fix it.

I say, “Your mom goes to college,” because of the sound of Napoleon Dynamite is in my ear, and then he finishes, “but it will take half an hour to update.”

Oh, he had me! I say, “never mind, your mom doesn’t go to college,” but it’s too late, by then he is reading back my phone number, saying I should receive a call to finish things up in a half-hour or so (sure), and the line goes quiet.

And there you have it, level 2 help desk agent vs level 3 half-elf sorcerer… help desk wins!!!

Fuck it’s lonely out here. I’m going to bed, defeated again.