Guitar Practice

 

Copyright – Bjorn Rudberg

 

 

 

 

“Try it again; you’re muting the F note.”

“But dad, it’s too hard, I can’t.”

“Yes you can, Darleen, you know I don’t like it when you say I can’t.”

“But dad.”

“Stop with the buts, try it again.”

“Dad, I can’t do…”

* * *

“What is wrong with you,” Darleen said as she ran out of the room, her dad two steps behind her. In his left hand, he held the neck of a ¾ size classical guitar. Only splinters remained of the guitar’s body and the nylon strings were hanging almost to the floor.

There, Darleen, now it’s a fact… You can’t.

 

---

 

Come on admit it, you think about things like this. You have thoughts of pushing your kid out of his chair when he spits his food on the floor or throwing his favorite toy out the window when he won’t share. It’s funny, as long as you just think about it.

This story was my contribution to Friday Fictioneers. Make sure to stop by and check out stories from other authors.

She Is So Old

Copyright- Alastair Forbes

“Ann, Ann, did your great aunt die last night!” Frank shouted to his wife.

“No, at least I don’t think so. Why, did you hear something? Oh, I better call someone,” she replied in a troubled voice.

Frank was sitting down at the computer again, practically drooling on himself. He did not notice Ann looking for her phone. She was nearly in tears at this point. Ann had spent a lot of time with her great aunt when she was little. Aunt Clair was almost ninety now but the thought of anyone dying upset Ann.

“Where is my phone?” she screamed, hysterical now.

“What are you freaking out about?” Frank asked.

“You’re the one talking about my aunt dying, what do you think.”

“Wait, did she die?” Frank asked

“I don’t know, I can’t find my phone. Why did you ask me if she died?”

“Because we are in her will. Look, I just read the headlines, Richard Branson finally did it, we can go to outer space. All we need is $200,000 each, we will get at least that when that ol bag finally cr…”

“I hate you! You are such an ass!”

 

The story above represents my entry into Alastair’s Sunday Photo Fiction.

If you enjoyed this story check out my other funny stories.

Where’s the Pearly Gate

Copyright -Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

“Isn’t it supposed to be a pearly gate?” Max asked as they approached the door.

“Oh, now you know everything about this journey.” his guardian angel replied; he had become annoyed with Max’s attitude. “Just open the door.”

“Okay,” Max replied, tugging at the door. “Lucifer,” Max yelled with dismay, “But, But…”

“Gabr-, Gab-,” the guardian angel was laughing so hard he couldn’t get the words out. “Gabriel,” he said as the devilish figure tuned into an angel. “Did you see the look on his face?”

“So, I’m not going to hell?”

“Who knows, we still have to get you to judgment.“

This story is my entry into Friday Ficitoneers.

If you got a laugh out of this make sure you share it on Facebook and Twitter below. Also, I have a lot of funny stories on this site and you can check them out here

Forsaken

Copyright – Alastair

I’ve always had a wild side, you know, live fast and die hard. I have spent years burying it, deeper and deeper until it was finally gone, so I thought. After years of suppression, we moved out of the city, it was a long commute but it was nice to feel as if we were getting away.

One day the guys at work got on a Kevin Costner kick, I know right. How does that guy keep getting work? On my way home, I was running that question threw my head when my inner speed demon got loose and took control of the throttle. I watched the speedometer blow by 100 and a calm buzz took over. Then… bam, right into this tree.

My soul has been stuck here ever since. I spend my days longing to see my family again, my life and mistakes playing back over and over. I wish someone, anyone, would smash their car and join me by this forsaken stream. I don’t feel like I can take this hell alone.

* * *

That car is flying, yes, yes… boom, crash… YES.

“What happened? Am I dead?”

“NO, NO.”

“Hello, are we dead?”

“Kevin Costner… Why, what have I done to deserve this!?”

 

I hope you enjoyed this story, it is my entry in to this week’s Sunday Photo Fiction Challenge. Click the link look at other entries.

Trip to the Hills

Copyright – Danny Bowman

A trip to the hills left him with a rash that seemed to be climbing his leg. Terrified it would continue he turned to the most reliable medical advice in the world. After thorough examination, he was nervous. Symptoms were adding up and he was afraid of what was coming.

The sound of frantic typing filled the room, then he stared, mouth open, in disbelief.

“Cyndi, wake up! I have all the symptoms.”

“What Larry, what do you have this time?”

“I’m pregnant, it says so on the Internet!”

“Right… I hope it’s a boy this time. Go to sleep.”

* * *

The above story represents my entry into this weeks Friday Fictioneers. I hope you all enjoy!

If this made you laugh, try more of my funny stories!